A successful affair goes beyond ‘not being caught’. Those of us who have chosen to pursue them know this well. Getting caught is the worst negative point of a bad affair. However, it’s not the only one.
A SUCCESSFUL AFFAIR IS ONE WHERE YOU’RE IN COMPLETE CONTROL. This means that you’re spouse doesn’t suspect a thing, and your affair partner can’t compromise your position with your spouse. In essence, the decision to reveal yourself in both cases belongs to you, and you only. No one else can put you at risk.
A successful affair is one that brings the most benefit to both parties engaging in it. Successful affairs are one that are:
Controllable – Where you control the flow of the affair’s events
Anonymous – Where you both know as little as possible about each other
Drama Free – Without much deep emotional involvement or drama
Refreshing – With multiple short-term partners, keeping it fresh and novel
Imagine you’re having an affair. Your mistress has feelings for you – you know this, but you won’t leave your wife or girlfriend for her. Do both parties really benefit from the affair? The short answer is ‘no’. While you accomplish your goals, a big part of hers would be left unfulfilled. In addition, you’re breaking the cardinal rule of cheating: the ‘emotional rule’. This rule loosely states that any person with deep emotions towards you (such as love or hate) drastically increases your chances of getting caught cheating. These people are the ones that are most likely to ‘go crazy’ on you and eventually make a move that will alert your spouse.
We mentioned earlier that being honest with yourself is a key component of having an affair. Self honesty is a tricky thing. Because we’re able to convince ourselves of anything, the person that can fool you best is … you. Not being honest with yourself can be a dangerous thing. Not understanding what you’re about to undertake is a prime factor in getting caught.
It’s NOT just one email, just one SMS or ‘a website you visited by mistake’. Your spouse is not an idiot. The compound effects of multiple mistakes in your affair method will eventually get you caught. And you’ll risk a lot more than just your relationship.
You are embarking on a journey where you cannot turn back. Be sure you can handle it. We could. We did. And we are happier as people today.
We are better spouses and better parents.
We love our families just like you.
The honesty component is crucial to having a successful affair. You need to know that the more honest you are with yourself, the better your chances of never getting caught will be.
UNDERSTANDING: AFFAIR RISK
Affairs are risky. No matter how diligent you are, the risk never goes away. You can minimize it, but never eliminate it. In part this is because the longer we keep an affair going with the same person, the more we become careless with our actions. This is why we propose a METHOD for having affairs, which can be learned and re-used at will. Long term affairs create RISKS because they become MATTER OF FACT.
There are 4 broad components of risk (read.: getting caught and it’s fallout), when having an affair:
Logistical Risks
Your spouse catches you having the affair by a logistical oversight. Typical such oversights are your cell phone records, SMSs or emails. Or forgetting to discard financial records, like receipts , credit card statements. We have devised a very detailed step by step plan to eliminate any and all such risks.
Social Risks
If you have an affair within a social circle (i.e.: with someone from the office), you could risk losing A LOT more than your family. Remember that you have a reputation to protect. You have friends. Kids. Respect. Social circles are hard to navigate. People drink together. They hang out. They talk. Eventually, you’ll be the guy that’s being talked about, behind your back.
Emotional Risks
These are bigger risks and will have to be driven more by your own commitments to your family. These include getting emotionally involved with the affair. THE MAIN REASON TO CHOOSE SHORT TERM FLINGS OVER COMPLICATED EMOTIONAL EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONSHIPS IS EMOTIONS. Emotions or ‘feelings” lead to poor choices and multiply logistical mistakes.
Financial Risks
Exposure of infidelity could impact business or financial situations for a lot of people. Depending on your situation such knowledge can be misused by a variety of people. Words like “Blackmail” do exist for a reason. For this reason the advice here must be weighed very carefully.
The best partner to have an affair with is someone who shares YOUR RISKS with you. For instance if you hook up with a single half-your-age guy/girl, they don’t share either of those risks to the same extent you do. By the time they do, you’ll be in diapers 
The fact that both parties have things at stake will ensure those risks are minimized. Hence we advocate and design our programs to act with utmost discretion and definition.
You MUST BE VERY CLEAR with yourself about your priorities , your life, your needs and your desires.
We interviewed several married women who have had affairs and the most common theme in their dissatisfaction was their desire to FEEL WANTED again. They wanted to have that feeling of a man who is ready to cherish them as women for the first time. And guess what? they got that. Through their affair, they renewed their self worth. They went back to their homes and husbands and were happy for a while. Till the feeling of being neglected and taken for granted resurfaced. Wash, rinse and repeat.
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